All I want to do...

I just want to watch this....

(Thank you, Holly!)

So I can finally see this happen....

I would like for coffee to be present...

But, mostly, I just want to hang out with these two amazing girls.

(I also just want to hear AnnE say that she is in the depths of despair again...)

I am a quote person.

Although, most of the time I can't spell "quote" correctly. I am a notoriously bad speller.

Anyway.

I just finished rereading the first book of Francine River's Mark of the Lion series. Don't be super impressed, I did do a lot of skimming. I started to read it again so that I could let the faith of the main character wash over me again. I know she is fictional, but I envy her gentle but fierce devotion to the Lord.

I've included some quotes that I found myself lingering over...(yes, mostly from the last few chapters from the book. I don't know why I didn't think of marking down encouraging or convicting phrases earlier.) These are pretty thought provoking, though. (At least for me.)

"The god she worshipped consumed her. It didn't ask for a brief visit to a temple, or a small votive offering of food or coin, or a few prayers every now and then. This god wanted all of her." (p. 377)

Conviction: He wants all of me. That thought alone is crazy. Who am I that the God of the universe would desire me? All of me? All of my love, my attention, my heart? So often I forget His love and grace and focus on my faults and ugly heart.

But how much am I willing to give up to Him? My heart desires to say "all," but my actions usually just reflect "brief visits to the temple." How easy it is for me to spend time with Him and the morning and leave Him in my car as I go to school. Lord, have all of me and not, merely, the pieces that are easy or comfortable for me to give up.

"Neocoros?" Atretes said, the word unfamiliar.

"'Temple sweeper.'" Sertes said. "The term once referred to the most menial of laborers, who was devoted to the care of the sacred temple. A term of humility that has become a title of honor." Sertes took a coin from a pouch at his waist and turned it over for Atretes to see. "Neocoros," he said, thumbing the writing on it. "Our city is thus exalted."

Conviction: "A term of humility that has become a title of honor." I know that "he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor" (Proverbs 29:23) But forgive me, Lord, for starting out seeking to humbly serve you, then priding myself, giving myself honor or a good 'ole pat on the back for my own humility. Humble my heart, Lord, truly. Open my eyes to my pride and false humility. I know it is everywhere.

"Yes," Julia agreed. "I've changed. I've grown up and developed a mind of my ow. My eyes are open, Marcus, wide open. Isn't that how you always encouraged me to be? Wasn't it you who introduced me to all the finer things the world has to offer? Wasn't it you who told me to watch out for people who would betray me? Well, dear brother, I've learned my lessons well." (p. 439)

Reaction: Genesis 3. And, Proverbs 3:5. Lord, help me to "be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil." (Romans 16:19).

"Unless we have something worth dying for, Atretes, we've nothing worth living for." (p. 485)

Reaction: Amen. (Matthew 16:246).

I won't lie, I also thought about all the things I daily kill myself to attain or to hold onto... I have a lot of idols in my life that continually "steal, kill, and destroy." I forget (continually) that Jesus has "come so that we might have, life and have it to the full" (John 10:10). I don't know why I so easily forget that and pursue so many things which feed into my idol of security and my idol of importance and my idol of my image. I pray that God would continue to be working these things out. Lord, how much differently I would live life if I truly found my identity in You! Help me, Father, resist finding my worth or identity in anything I do or any way I define myself. But to ultimately find rest and peace in You. May I be secure in who I am in You.

I love how a simple sentence or phrase can convict me and point me back to Christ. These might not have done much for you, but I wanted to make sure I documented these thoughts/convictions so I didn't forget about them until the next time I went back to skim The Mark of the Lion series...

Does bad breath equal dirty teeth?

Caught your attention, huh?

Here is the situation: I am super tired and trying to get ready for bed quickly. I decide I'm too tired to floss (I usually am a big flosser...not tonight, getting to bed one minute faster seemed like the best choice.) so I settle for brushing my teeth. While I was anxious to get to bed, I did try to brush well, if not a little better than usual, to make up for the lack of flossing, of course. Anyway, I brushed my teeth and they felt clean, but I felt like my breath was not up to par (aka minty fresh).

{sorry if this is a lot of information about my personal hygiene, I promise I have a point}

So , I decide to multi-task... swish around some mouth wash while I wash my face. Then, I think about it more... "does bad breath really equal dirty teeth? Or can your teeth be clean even if you can't taste the minty-freshness? Further, what is really my goal here? To prevent cavities or to have good breath?"

Now, I understand this sounds very odd and not something you share with others but...

Don't we do this with a lot of things???

I do.

I focus on the outside, on the external, on the surface, on what people see ("do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit..." Phil 2:3)... and NOT what God commands me and the apostles urge and plead us to focus on the internal, the heart. ("...he LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7b)

I drink coffee a lot. I try to have gum on me always so I can combat the coffee breath once my tumbler runs dry.

My breath may be polar-ice-fresh, but that does NOT mean my teeth are clean.

{disclaimer: this may not be the most ideal example..i am not advocating for the preservation or perpetuation of bad breath..just take this illustration loosely. it is merely the situation that sparked these thoughts conviction.}

All that to say, that I focus too much on how things appear to others, how they make me look, what others think of me. It doesn't matter if my breath is minty fresh---my teeth are still dirty.

I know it.

The Lord knows it.

And trying to cover it is pride.

Lord, please, ²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)

Obsessed.

I tend to have an addictive personality.

When i find a song I like, I usually listen to it in my car on repeat.

For weeks.

Here is what I have been enjoying (obsessed/needing to hear) in my car lately...


disclaimer: i haven't actually watched the full video. i downloaded the mp3 and have been listening to the song in my itunes. you can find the mp3 download below the video on youtube.



Here are the lyrics for those of you who are like me and get more from seeing the words..

(I maybe put in bold the part that I most love to get stuck in my head all day...)

Jesus, Jesus, You are my tower Lord
Jesus, Jesus, the rock I stand on
Jesus, Jesus, there is no other name
Like Your name
So I will wait on You

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him
Oh I will be still
And I will know that You are God
Your loving kindnesses
Indeed they never cease
Your compassion never fails
Jesus, Jesus, You are my tower Lord
Jesus, Jesus, the rock I stand on
Jesus, Jesus, there is no other name
Like Your name
(Oh, Lord)
So I will wait on You

The Lord is good to those
To those who wait for Him
Oh I will be still
And I will know that You are God
Your loving kindnesses
Indeed they never cease
Your compassion never fails

But I am weak Lord
You are strong Lord
I know I must look to Your way
But I am weak Lord
You are so strong Lord
I know I must look to Your way

The Lord is good to those
To those who wait for Him
Oh I will be still
And I will know that You are God
Your loving kindnesses
Indeed they never cease
Your compassion never fails

The Lord is good to those
To those who wait for Him
Oh I will be still
And I will know that You are God
Your loving kindnesses
Indeed they never cease
Your compassion never fails

Sassy Sandals!

hey friends!

i forgot! my friend, vera, also wanted me to get the word out about some sweet footwear. her friend dani went to africa for a semester (or a summer...the details are a little fuzzy. all i know is dani is awesome) and brought these sweet sandals back for her. (she brought v teal ones that are not pictured).






here's the site: http://www.ssekodesigns.com/


they are cute and sassy and go for a good cause! (which is probably why vera loves them so dang much. and well they are real cute). they are made by women who are trying to earn tuition money to continue their education in uganda. the price may seem steep at first (not as pricey as toms) but the money is going to support women as they strive to continue their education in hopes of stabilizing and helping their community.

i highly suggest visiting the site! you can even see the women who make the shoes and hear their story!

not only are the sandals fun and support a great cause, the straps are interchangeable and you can even thread them through the sole in a variety of styles. (i tried to choose pictures that best demonstrated the creativity/variety of the ways you can wear them).

i have my eye on the yellow ones. or maybe green. or brown or black....good things extra straps are only $9!

Miscellany Monday!

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1. Silas is the sweetest little boy in the whole world.

2. I want to start an herb garden. I need some fresh cilantro...

3. because I got a sweet recipe from my back-home bestie, vera. i love her.

4. i am baaadd at blogging. i am contemplating throwing in the towel..

5. i am itching to paint. little c found a picture he wants me to put on canvass.

6. do you ever feel excited that God is teaching you a lot...but also terrified about what lies ahead that He is preparing you in that way...??

7. i am excited for bible study tonight!!!

Ballin' in Haiti

this is my friend, Melinda. (or MemGym87 if you went to high school with us)

Melinda is this:

there are lots of reasons why Melinda is a baller, shot caller-- but the one i'm talking about here is the fact that she is spending her summer in Haiti serving the people there. i am so excited to hear all of the stories and ways that God has used her to impact the people of Haiti. further, i am excited to hear all the ways God has used the people of Haiti to stretch and grow her. (i love how that works. we grow and learn the most from the people and ways that we are intentionally serving. )

she has such a huge heart and is so full of joy that you can read it in her emails.

what is also amazing is the way that God is using her not only in Haiti, but right here in lexington, kentucky!

here is what i mean..(i did not ask if i could use this! but i don't think she will mind!)

"It has been so amazing to see the love of Jesus in Haiti. I have realized how much they fully rely on God, and daily. They don't have video games, tv, computers, etc to distract them from thinking about him. When they have a bad day they don't go to distract themself with a movie, they pray. They rely on him and him alone. It has opened my eyes to the useless things we do in America and the time wasted away from God. At church they all pray outloud, so imagine 800 voices praising and praying to the God of the Universe at once; it was powerful! Many get on their knees--old and young."

not only does this almost bring me to tears to imagine such a sight, it also totally calls me out (but in a good, good way). i feel like i can easily get distracted by dumb, unnecessary things. i focus on the fleeting instead of the everlasting constantly.

and it isn't always the same things that distract me. i am the only one left at the 312 this week and we no longer have internet or tv at our house. you think that i would have way less distractions and more intentional time. no, no, my friend. instead i have focused on getting things checked off my to do list, dreaming about my new room, and trying to get a jump on the moving out cleaning.

further, i came home and felt tense and exhausted--so what did i do? go to God for a little tlc? no. i went and cleaned out the laundry room after eating some ice cream.

can we say...

band aid???

"come to me, all who are weary and burdened and i will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28)

i know we probably all know this scripture by heart, but my actions do not reveal that this is capital "T" truth when i run to rocky road ice cream and trying to get more cleaning done, than resting in the Truth of Jesus's words.

man. i still have soo many thoughts and things i am thinking through...

if you, too, are feeling convicted and encouraged/maybe a little sucky..i highly encourage going here:

http://justinemcknight.blogspot.com/2010/05/day-144-want-confidence-click-here.html

for a little encouragement! this is more Truth i need to cling to today!

"that's why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn't stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I'd think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do [aka not distracted!! -my own addition and emphasis], grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!" --from Ephesians 1 (message version)

---we are reading through ephesians with the girls i meet with at tates creek--how appropriate the timing. i can't wait to share with them from melinda's email! pray we have some solid discussion!!